Out of the heart speaketh

Do you come from a “negative language” family? I did. I know the intentions of my parents was not negativity, however, they were negative language people. It was a habit passed down from many generations back.

In spite of the fact that I am aware of the lasting impacts of negative thoughts and words, it is a daily battle to control them. In all honesty, it’s a constant, moment-by-moment battle, but over the years, and heaps of grace, it is becoming more automatic for me to be able to convert negativity to something productive. Scripture is clear about the power of our words, and the effect of our thoughts.

I am especially burdened by negative language concerning moms “cursing” their children. The constant beratement of children and the position of motherhood is tragic on every level. Complaining about the tasks and duties that motherhood entails is, at heart, a gross misuse of the calling of motherhood, and an ungrateful attitude.

How many times are we tempted to say, “I have to XYZ for my son”? Would his outlook on the task (beit a dental visit, soccer practice, piano lessons, grocery shopping) be more grounded in gratitude if we “get to”, “get this done so we can check that off the list”, “blessed be able to attend” etc…

“I get to….”

I don’t have to teach my kids, I get to

I don’t have to work out, I get to

I don’t have to eat whole foods, I get to

I don’t have to serve, I get to

I don’t have to work, I get to

One day, watching my husband, John, work with the kids on math I think, “what an HONOR to get to be part of their learning journey”. I GET to experience this with them.

Burdens or opportunity?

Growing up very poor, I have incredibly vivid memories of my mom “having to”. “I HAVE to take Heather to dance, then I have to get groceries, then I have to work”. Often, I felt like such a burden to my parents. My love and passion for ballet lessons was a burden to her. Now, when I remember, I check myself at the door. “Selah and I are going to the stables, then we will pop over to the store to get some fresh salad makings to go with the roast tonight, then I will work on that project later while the kids practice music!” I do not want to present false positivity to my children, but I do desire to teach them that tasks can be full of joy and opportunity. Even substituting “have to” with “we plain to accomplish”, “we are working on”, “I am focused on XYZ task today” creates an essence of neutrality of work, not an emotionally burdensome task.

What do you GET to do that you are turning to opportunity?

“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.” Matthew 15:18 ESV